01.05.2026

Using Intention to Craft Meaningful Change

close up of woman with big smaile

As we approach the new year, many of us feel that familiar pull to transform our lives. But what if the key to lasting change isn’t about rigid New Year’s resolutions, but about something more flexible and compassionate?

Licensed marriage and family therapist Kiana Carr, lead clinician for the Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at Alaska Behavioral Health,  offers a refreshing perspective on how to craft a meaningful year ahead.

Understanding the Difference: Resolutions vs. Intentions

Most of us are familiar with New Year’s resolutions—those specific, concrete goals we set to change our behavior. “I will exercise 4 times per week,” for example, is concrete and measurable. These resolutions typically focus on health and fitness, diet, finances, or mental health. While the psychological fresh start effect can motivate new behaviors and bring feelings of hope and renewal, tradition doesn’t guarantee success.

Intentions, on the other hand, offer a different approach. Carr defines an intention as a flexible, reflective statement about how we want to live or show up in life, one that’s not based on a rigid outcome. It’s broader and more adaptable. For example, instead of committing to read two books per month, you might say, “I intend to make more time for learning.”

Why Intentions Lead to Lasting Change

Intentions connect behavior to your personal values, creating a deeper sense of purpose. They offer flexibility, allowing you to adapt around barriers instead of abandoning your goals entirely. Perhaps most importantly, intentions encourage self-compassion and help you avoid harsh self-criticism.

As Carr notes, intentions “reduce pressure and burn out” while embracing small progress. This gentler approach stands in stark contrast to the all-or-nothing mentality that often accompanies traditional resolutions.

Resolutions have a high failure rate

The numbers tell a compelling story about why we need a new approach. According to Forbes, 37% of all adults make resolutions, but only 9-12% of those stick with their resolutions. Fewer than 10% meet their goals by year’s end. Drop-off rates are dramatic: one study shows 80% of people who make New Year’s resolutions have abandoned them by the end of January.

Why do resolutions fail so spectacularly?

Carr identifies several key reasons: unrealistic or too-vague goals, lack of actionable planning, and waning motivation amid daily pressures. “Life starts life-ing, and it’s very easy to let resolutions tend to fall off,” she explains.

But perhaps the most damaging aspect is how people attach their identity to their resolutions. This creates overwhelming guilt over any setback. “If I don’t go to the gym 4 times a week, I have failed. And then it turns into ‘I am a failure,'” Carr observes. When resolutions become tied to self-worth, even minor slip-ups can feel devastating.

Crafting Your Intentions: A Step-by-Step Approach

So how do you create intentions that will actually support you through the year? Carr offers a practical framework.

Choose a guiding “word of the year.”

Carr has found this practice particularly valuable in her own life. “I have chosen a word to guide me throughout the next year for about the last decade. I have found that to be a really valuable practice. I choose a word and then I do a monthly reflective practice where I think about how I incorporate that word in my life, how it guided me through the month, and what changes I can make next month.”

She shares a powerful personal example: “My word for 2018 was ‘brave.’ Every month I would go through and assess how did ‘brave’ show up in my life that month, in my work life, in my relationships. By the middle of the year, I had moved back to Alaska, a pretty big move. ‘Brave’ really came through for me that year.”

Start by reflecting on your personal vision and values. If you’re not sure where to begin, try googling “values list” for ideas to prompt yourself. [add links to some options]

Common guiding to consider: balance, brave, curiosity, abundance, health, authenticity, faith, adventure, connection, gratitude, initiative, learning, peace, self-discipline, well-being, security, or love.

Use present tense language.

Frame your intentions with “I intend to…” rather than “I should…” Carr explains that “should” tends to feel like an obligation—it feels like finger-pointing. When we change our language to something in the present tense, it lessens the pressure and incorporates more values-based language. For example: “I intend to spend more time with family.”

Align your intentions with daily achievable habits. This makes you more likely to stick with them while maintaining flexibility.

Reflective Questions to Guide Your Process

Carr provides thoughtful questions to help you both close out the current year and envision the one ahead. Thinking through these questions will help you focus on your priorities for the next year. Jot down some answers to these questions and look for themes that emerge.

Reflecting on the year that’s ending, ask yourself:

  • How have you taken care of yourself physically? What has worked and what needs some work?
  • How have you taken care of yourself emotionally?
  • What are you proud of?
  • What have you healed, or identified that needs healing?
  • What’s deepening in your life, and what’s evolving in ways that delight you?
  • Who are you becoming, and does it scare or delight you?

Looking toward the coming year, consider:

  • How do you envision your word supporting you?
  • What would shift if you really embraced it?
  • What are you looking forward to, and what feels apprehensive?
  • What aspects of yourself will you nurture in the next year?
  • In what areas are you ready for change and growth?

Finally, imagine it’s the end of the next year. How do you want to feel in your head (work, dreams, goals), in your heart (relationships, family, friends), in your soul (beliefs, practices, self-love), and in your physical world (health, home, hobbies)?

Sustaining Your Intention

To support your intention throughout the year, Carr recommends journaling. It can also be helpful to check in with a friend or group of friends, providing each other with opportunities to reflect. Really notice how your word has affected you as the months unfold.

This approach isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about showing up for yourself with compassion and curiosity rather than judgment.

 

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